A penguin and a polar bear are sitting on an iceberg. The penguin yells, "No Soap Radio!" They both jump in the water.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Fake female journalists other than Ann Coulter #2

Now I can get to the actual point of the previous entry. Namely, superheroes have a jones for some female journalists.

Starting with the most obvious example, there's Lois Lane who I don't need to explain. There's Tana Moon, Superboy's girlfriend (don't ask me which Superboy, I haven't the foggiest). Chloe Sullivan, young Superman's girlfriend from Smallville. Yeah, yeah, TV doesn't count. The point still stands that these are all reporters. Superman had a fetish.

He's not the only one:

Batman hooked up with reporter Vicki Vale in the comics, and she starred in the original Batman movie. Keaton has good taste.

Spiderman had a fling with Betty Brant, Daily Bugle reporter. She ended up marrying another reporter.

The Flash was the only guy to make his booty call an honest woman, marrying television reporter Linda Park.

What is it with superheroes and the journalist girlfriends? Are comic writers that unimaginative? Have these superheroes been around so long that they've banged a woman of every profession? I'm going with the last one.


Up until about five minutes ago I was not aware that there were three different guys taking the identity of the Flash. Sort of a stupid plot when you look at it.

Jay Garrick fell asleep in a lab and inhaled some chemicals, giving him super-speed.

Then there's Barry Allen, who was exposed to a mixture of chemicals when lightning struck a lab shelf. He then modeled his costume after his childhood comicbook hero, Jay Garrick.

Barry Allen's nephew, Wally West, went into his uncle's lab one day (because I know if I was the Flash, I'd keep my day job). The same freak accident happens, and now Wally is the Kid Flash. Creative.

The only thing that saves me from thinking it's a stupid idea altogether is that Barry Allen, the most powerful Flash, can separate his molecules and float through solid matter. It's a trick Superman was doing since the Flash was a scratch in his dad's pants, but it's still cool. That and he can run faster than time and turn himself into pure speed energy.


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