A penguin and a polar bear are sitting on an iceberg. The penguin yells, "No Soap Radio!" They both jump in the water.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Lost in the Intertrons

Andrew and I were sitting in the Carolinian office, wasting time talking about how much we had to do and yet were not. I googled "Carolinian" and found that USC has a magazine called the Carolinian. Copycat bastards.

I scrolled down a few more links and found that there's actually a Carolinian language. Now we're getting somewhere.

It's only spoken on the Northern Mariana Islands, and even then only by about two or three thousand people, but I'm going to learn it. Not because it's named after the newspaper I work at (The Carolinian was first before all, if you're wondering) but because the CIA World Factbook says it has the highest female-to-male ratio of any country on Earth: 0.756 male for every female. (The United Arab Emirates has the worst, 2.19 male for every female.) Apparently the Guinness Book of World Records also said that Saipan, one of the country's islands, has "the most equable temperature" in the world. And they would know. They're Guinness.

So, best climate on Earth...most women per capita...tropical drinks....tropical women...and they already use the dollar as currency. I'm sold.

Or at least I was until I saw a country called Christmas Island:

A bare island named after Christmas with nothing but a airstrip on it? I'm coming for you, Santa. We need to have words about my sixth Christmas morning. That's right fat boy, I hold grudges, and 22-year-old Luke owns a lot more bats than 6-year-old Luke did.


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