FAUX NEWS: Sophomore student going to hit on that chick today

Sophomore going to hit on that chick today

Despite seven weeks of repeated failure, college sophomore Randy Biggs maintains that he is going to hit on the attractive blonde who sits in front of him in chemistry today, because she is totally into him.

"Today is the day," said Biggs. "I'm laying the mack down and she won't even know what hit her. But I know what's going to hit her. It's the mack truck I'm driving her way."

Though Biggs has yet to speak to or even make eye contact with the female, he is certain that she will fall for him as soon as he strikes up a conversation.

"All I gots to do is be like 'what up girl,' and she'll be all like 'you know.' Then it's on," explained Biggs. "I'm telling you dude, it's not even fair."

Biggs' roommate, Jacob Sutherlin, said that Biggs has been talking about the blonde every day since the beginning of class almost two months ago.

"I can just imagine him staring at her all period, breathing hard and drooling. I bet it's hilarious, but in that creepy kind of way," said Sutherlin.

WUAG DJ won't shut up

Faux is like all fake and shit.